Hmmmm...

          It's almost two O'clock in the morning and I cannot seem to sleep. The fact that political season is near an end is tearing at my heals. Our team has just picked up a new candidate for Mayor of Chicago, but that is just one contract. M mind seems to spin as I think of my next sales pitch. My next big move. i would have never had thought at 15 or even 18 for that matter that I would be in the shoes I am now. I'm 25 and a father. I have a wife at home and a family to feed. As a man I know it is my job to make a difference, to ensure security but how? What is it that will finally lead me to financial freedom? Where will I find that comfort zone some often spend their entire life without? Will I spend my entire life chasing a dream that may never be within reach? Or will one of my business ventures take off and lead me to success. I often find myself pondering these very questions. Even now a few day's before I take my daughter on her first Halloween night she will remember. I as a father and husband must be strong. I must make the right choices for my family.

       With another year coming and going, I have to find a venture, a means of existence. I need a sure fire win. Not a hopeful shot in the wind. I need to be that diffrence in my childs future, as my father was not to me.

Today?

      So I am currently working full time as the Vice President of a sign company. I also Own a soap business, an interview website, and partner in a consulting firm. At 24, I do not feel I am doing bad when it comes to success in life. I feed my family, my wife works, we both go non stop to ensure sanity and full function of our own lives. Unlike many of our generation we often feel as if were falling but we tend to succeed. I and still the same person I once was, only better. More focused on me and how I present myself. Often finding myself lost. My friends all either finishing college or lost working for pizza hut, walmart or god knows who else. Spending their weekends drunk, sleeping with what's her name. Some have kids some do not. Wile I myself. As much of a fun person I have previously been, I have become simple. Or should I say way different than myself 5 years ago. Now days I wake up around 5:30 and start my day. Kiss my daughter and, wife good bye and head to work. My day job? Managing the operations at a mass sign shop. Often meeting with political candidates, and or influential people in our nations current events. Some bring fun conversations and task. Others in in out. Often planning the next big thing. I myself find a need to succeed. Growing up my father started many business. But everyone failed. I myself watched as he left. Me mom and my sister were there struggling. Now I have the opportunity to ensure a diffrence. I can break the cycle. As a dad I can make a difference in our community. I can raise my daughter right and be what my father wasn't.

Being a good person

       What makes a good person? Is it your job, or car? Not in my opinion. I often self evaluate, and some times overcompensate for who I thought I should be. or where I could be. But all in all its your morals and values that define you. Not your cloths, or hair. These are just things we often use to attempt to portray and illusion of whom we feel we are.  I used to be a huge goof when it came to self portrayal. Lost at 17 after my fathers sudden death, and spending almost 3 years locked in a boy's home, while my parents fought a nasty custody battle, my dad was gone. After his suicide I went through a good 60 fazes. I was a goth, punk,emo,gangster,stoner,jock,christian,Muslim, just for the short list. I felt I had to brand myself in order to be a good person, you must need friends. Oh and need I add must be popular. I felt this was the path to success and being a good person. I never even fathomed that possibly being a good person meant making good decisions. Or that by making a difference and sticking to my plans that would lead me to a better path and being a good person. Being a good person isent about what you have or who you know. Its about the example you set, the goals you meet and the promises you keep.

Question myself

 As a father I often question myself. I'm still scared, still over consumed with mere  experience, and the fear of failing what should I do? I already have the feelings of not being good enough, or that I may not be what my daughter will think I should. I'm a great person, A caring person. But often clout my self with self doubt, and reasons why I can not succeed. This is a major set back for me. I have the inability to decipher positive from negative a lot of the time. See growing up in a single parent home was never easy, I know people have had it a lot worse than me. I just often feel as if I may fail as a parent, or somehow become my father. I set myself up to succeed but fear failure more than anything. Why do parents fail? How can this be resolved? And what if I do not fail but my daughter takes the wrong turn anyway?

Boundaries in life

    As a business owner. I often do not find time for anything other than business. Never finding a moment to relax, take a break. This often leads to stress and long term sleep deprived nights. I am successful to a point. I work hard, I put 100% into everything I do but sometimes that can drive you crazy. Over the years I have built business after business making it my goal to be a mini shark tank, trying to succeed like Mark Cubin. I often then realize that I am absorbed with business, and often neglect my other responsibilities in life. That is where my need and thought process calls for a break. At some points you must take a break and work on you.Take family time and relax, take 5 minutes to yourself. Often we take for granted what we already have striving for more until we are entirely worn to the bone from failed attempts or successful attempts. If we do not set boundaries in our lives we will never be truly happy. You must set limits, schedules and meet them. Find time for relaxing, time to eat, or go for a walk, but also find time to do what you need to as well. These types of time allotments will help you to be successful in your life and future.

Relaxing tea Recipe:

"Comfy Tea"

1 Bag of tea

2 teaspoons of suger

2 tea spoons of honey

1 peppermint 

Amazing week

So as a writer this week has been down right amazing. I got a few new things coming up. My biggest interview yet just got topped. We have Cali Swag District otw for fans. I have made a new hero, John Chow. Im kinda making him a hero and a challenge. I personally want to get as many followers as he has. I have been designing internet based business for over 5 years, from printwebs.net, to the underground girls, eye of the underground magazine and more. This year I will be working my butt off to get the right interviews 100% of the time for all our fans!

Family

My family is my everything. When im not reading messages from fans, or posting my newest interviews Im at home with my daughter and wife watching, tv, playing, and learning how to walk with my 14 month old. I have to give my lovely wife a lot of props music can consume your life and she put's up with a lot from me. She dosent know I have a family base blog so I can talk nice about her.lol.

Who I am

As a blogger with a huge fan base, know for my underground interviews blog, I felt it was time to tell my fans a bit of who I am. Im a young father, who works hard to get these interviews. I do this because I have the want to post the truth, rather than read the bullshit lies most people post.